Had a fanTABulous Christmas this year. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. Last year at Christmas Madeline was just a lump. Now - she's a full on toddler! (Who still can't toddle)
I awoke Christmas morning at 4:30 and ran down to see if my stocking was full. Ok, I jest - I did wake up at 4:30 but that was to prepare the brunch and "fixins" for Christmas with my in-laws. We had TONS of food and there was a little something for everyone so that made me feel good. Madeline has been going through something of late that has just made her whiny and miserable. I kept attributing it to her 4th molar and I juuuuust think I might have been right. It seemed to really come to a peak Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and today she was like my old baby. She's been "off" for about a month. Not sleeping well, being incredibly clingy and needy etc... it's been incredibly hard on Steve and I. But today she was just her old self again. Happy as all get out in the grocery store - we had TONS of fun playing with her new toys. (I am, by some feat of science, able to squeeze myself through her tunnel/tent. This gives her incredible delight.) She even came up to me and said "na na" and grabbed her bear. I said "ok, night night time" took her upstairs and put her in her crib for a nap and she didn't peep. (I know this was a huge fluke, but still it was nice!) Anywho, all that to say that Christmases were a liiiiittle stressed with her not being at 100%. I have to give my husband mad props for being amazing handling her. She's been "Daddy only" for about the past 2 months so it's really up to him to calm her down and he has just got amazing amounts of patience and love for that little girl.
Madeline got obscene amounts of clothes for Christmas which was JUST what we asked for! She got some toys and lots of books and money toward her 529 college fund. (YEAH!) She got Chamois sheets that are so soft I thought about taking a nap in her crib to try them out myself.
Meanwhile, I got some fun gifts too. I got lots of socks (something I begged for because I am terrible at losing socks!) I got some DVDs (Pride and Prejudice, Crash, and JFK) and some books! (Thanks honey!!) I also got a hand vac, a set of international clocks, lots of gift cards (yay Starbucks!) and a reeally reeeeeally cool portable burner set!
Steve, in true Magi fashion, got an ipod touch. I am SO GLAD he likes it!!! :)
As I sit here, I can't help but think about what next Christmas will be like. She'll be a "terrible" 2 and I'm sure we won't have to coax her into opening presents next year!
Meanwhile, I'm gearing up for the New Year and Auld Lang Syne. ( A song which always makes me terribly sad for some reason)
Thursday 27 December 2007
Monday 17 December 2007
Are there no prisons? Are there no Workhouses?
I don't remember who it was, but someone enlightened said, "Real charity doesn't care if it's tax deductable or not."
I love that.
As some of you know, my previous job was working for the Better Business Bureau and working with the Attorney General's office to oversee non-profits in Indiana. Very few people know that pretty much anyone can start a charity, keep 99.9 percent of the money - and NOT be doing anything illegal. So with that said, there are lots of sketchy charities out there. Be especially aware of people who call you at home asking for money. Steve HATES it when these charities call us because he knows I'm going to torture them. Here is basically how it works:
Charity A hires Company B to do a "Fundraising Campaign" for them. Charity A doesn't have much money in their bank account so the agree that the Company can just keep some of the proceeds. Problem is - it usually ends up being an 80/20 split - and NOT in the Charity's favor. But, the charity hasn't "lost" anything - because they didn't fork over any money to begin with. Sketchy huh? So - here are some questions to ask any "Charity" who calls you.
1. Is this Charity a 501(c) 3?
This is the denotation that will tell you if your donation is tax deductible. Some charities (albeit few) aren't 501(c)3s, therefore you can't write it off your taxes if that's the kind of thing that's important to you.
2. Where are you calling me from?
Here's a hint - Lots of Police and Fire charities that call - they aren't even calling from our state!! Sometimes when I ask this I get, "From the south side." When I ask if that would be the southside of Indianapolis - I get a long pause. They're calling from South Carolina. Yeahhhhhh. I'm not making this up!
3. Are you yourself employed by the charity?
This is a hairy one, because the will try to say "Yes" any way they can. Well, they are employed by the company who was hired by the charity so they'll try to tell you yes. Ask them if they are employed DIRECTLY by the charity and their answer many differ.
4. How much of my donation will go toward program expenses?
Here is a nasty little secret of Fundraisers. Like our division before - 20% (which honestly is high for the campaigns I've seen - it's much more like 10% and under) is going to the Charity. That DOESN'T mean it's going toward saving the Children or whatever. That means that is going back to the charity which may mean it's all going in some hack CEO's pocket. If they can't tell you how much is going to PROGRAMS - don't give 'em anything!!
5. Finally, ask them to take you off of their list. Now, they will probably go ahead and do this anyway after talking to you because they aren't used to people being educated. They can call you even if you are on the Do Not Call list because non-profits are exempt. However, good charities don't want to bother you if you don't want to be bothered.
Some General Tips
1. Most Bonafide Charities won't call you on the phone for money. The exception being your alma mater and a charity to whom you may have donated before. (Unless your initial contact with them was over the phone) Also - PBS may call you. Most charities have fundraising events or send out mailings.
2. Be Empowered! Don't be afraid to ask questions. You will be SHOCKED at how little the person to whom you are speaking actually knows about the charity for which they are soliciting money.
3. Look for 65 percent, or 65 cents on the dollar to go to the program. This is the suggested number. That means 65 cents of every one of your dollars isn't going to the light bill, the mailings, desks, or CEO's salary (all bonafide things of course - but not in excess). It's called "Program Expenses" on an annual report.
4. Look for Charities that match your beliefs or passions. Don't give to every (any actually) Yahoo who calls you on the phone. Take the time to do research about charities in which you ma be interested.
5. Don't get too caught up in Natural Disasters. YES - Katrina victims need money, but so do families in Darfur. Don't "cut off" a charity to which you have been consistently giving because of a sudden occurrence. Split your donations, or find out if there's anything else you can do to help either charity.
*Also - know that you can "restrict" your donations. If you donated money to X Charity and want it used for a certain thing - you can enable that by making it clear by letter or on your check was specific event or campaign you want it to be donated to.
There are a few sites that you can check out to look at a Charity's records. They will break down for you, sometimes, in a nice graph - how much money is going to what. My favourite? www.charitynavigator.org
Finally - here are some charities that I feel are a "safe bet." They have diverse missions and I have personally checked into each one and met with each CEO. I feel comfortable giving my hard earned money (ok my husband's) to. *Disclaimer* This list is in NO way exhaustive. These are simply ones I have interacted with, reviewed tax records of, and found to be exceptional. I am positive there are others out there.
1. Widow's Jar Ministries.
OK - so on this one I am partial because my mom runs this charity. She founded it because she felt that many missionaries, though supported through local churches, don't get everything they need. She has been able to send car parts, medical supplies, and even a special mastectomy bra to one missionary's wife. (Who was so overjoyed she cried for days) My parents are in their late 60s and are both retired. Instead of taking their Winnebago around the country they are working furiously for others in need. I can attest first hand to the passion and love the drives this organization.
www.widowsjar.org
2. The Starfish Initiative
This organization allows children who perform high but are in low performing schools to attend, tuition free, a local accredited private school. It also sets them up with a Mentor who helps them adjust to all the changes a new school will bring. I am especially impressed with their CEO who has a passion for these kids that I have seen in few.
www.starfishinitiative.org
3. The greater Indianapolis Humane Society
I know the CEO of this organization very well too. When she first gave me a tour of the facility I was impressed. She told me about a fostering program they introduced that placed sick or need cats and dogs with a family for a while until they got adopted. This way it frees up a little space and lets the animals get some much needed one on one interaction. I was won over when she told me how many animals she herself was fostering.
www.indyhumane.org
4. The Damien Center
This organization was the very first organization I got to know and tour. The CEO I knew is now gone, but the organization still maintains fundraising integrity and passion of mission that is amazing. They provide free HIV tests to anyone who needs them. They also offer counseling and job finding, and just about any other service that may be difficult for a person with HIV.
www.damien.org
5. Easter Seals Crossroads
Another CEO who is passionate about his mission. Crossroads provides just about everything for anyone with disabilities. From HUGE computer screens, to physical rehabilitation, to a "day care" for disabled adults - this charity has it covered. Economically they do a LOT on a little.
www.crossroads.easterseals.org
I will refrain from listing the names of charities that I found to be SHAAAADY - because it's Christmas and, I don't want to get sued or something.
*Most importantly, remember that charities also want your time. Can't give money? Call and ask if you could volunteer. You'll be shocked at who is touched more*
I love that.
As some of you know, my previous job was working for the Better Business Bureau and working with the Attorney General's office to oversee non-profits in Indiana. Very few people know that pretty much anyone can start a charity, keep 99.9 percent of the money - and NOT be doing anything illegal. So with that said, there are lots of sketchy charities out there. Be especially aware of people who call you at home asking for money. Steve HATES it when these charities call us because he knows I'm going to torture them. Here is basically how it works:
Charity A hires Company B to do a "Fundraising Campaign" for them. Charity A doesn't have much money in their bank account so the agree that the Company can just keep some of the proceeds. Problem is - it usually ends up being an 80/20 split - and NOT in the Charity's favor. But, the charity hasn't "lost" anything - because they didn't fork over any money to begin with. Sketchy huh? So - here are some questions to ask any "Charity" who calls you.
1. Is this Charity a 501(c) 3?
This is the denotation that will tell you if your donation is tax deductible. Some charities (albeit few) aren't 501(c)3s, therefore you can't write it off your taxes if that's the kind of thing that's important to you.
2. Where are you calling me from?
Here's a hint - Lots of Police and Fire charities that call - they aren't even calling from our state!! Sometimes when I ask this I get, "From the south side." When I ask if that would be the southside of Indianapolis - I get a long pause. They're calling from South Carolina. Yeahhhhhh. I'm not making this up!
3. Are you yourself employed by the charity?
This is a hairy one, because the will try to say "Yes" any way they can. Well, they are employed by the company who was hired by the charity so they'll try to tell you yes. Ask them if they are employed DIRECTLY by the charity and their answer many differ.
4. How much of my donation will go toward program expenses?
Here is a nasty little secret of Fundraisers. Like our division before - 20% (which honestly is high for the campaigns I've seen - it's much more like 10% and under) is going to the Charity. That DOESN'T mean it's going toward saving the Children or whatever. That means that is going back to the charity which may mean it's all going in some hack CEO's pocket. If they can't tell you how much is going to PROGRAMS - don't give 'em anything!!
5. Finally, ask them to take you off of their list. Now, they will probably go ahead and do this anyway after talking to you because they aren't used to people being educated. They can call you even if you are on the Do Not Call list because non-profits are exempt. However, good charities don't want to bother you if you don't want to be bothered.
Some General Tips
1. Most Bonafide Charities won't call you on the phone for money. The exception being your alma mater and a charity to whom you may have donated before. (Unless your initial contact with them was over the phone) Also - PBS may call you. Most charities have fundraising events or send out mailings.
2. Be Empowered! Don't be afraid to ask questions. You will be SHOCKED at how little the person to whom you are speaking actually knows about the charity for which they are soliciting money.
3. Look for 65 percent, or 65 cents on the dollar to go to the program. This is the suggested number. That means 65 cents of every one of your dollars isn't going to the light bill, the mailings, desks, or CEO's salary (all bonafide things of course - but not in excess). It's called "Program Expenses" on an annual report.
4. Look for Charities that match your beliefs or passions. Don't give to every (any actually) Yahoo who calls you on the phone. Take the time to do research about charities in which you ma be interested.
5. Don't get too caught up in Natural Disasters. YES - Katrina victims need money, but so do families in Darfur. Don't "cut off" a charity to which you have been consistently giving because of a sudden occurrence. Split your donations, or find out if there's anything else you can do to help either charity.
*Also - know that you can "restrict" your donations. If you donated money to X Charity and want it used for a certain thing - you can enable that by making it clear by letter or on your check was specific event or campaign you want it to be donated to.
There are a few sites that you can check out to look at a Charity's records. They will break down for you, sometimes, in a nice graph - how much money is going to what. My favourite? www.charitynavigator.org
Finally - here are some charities that I feel are a "safe bet." They have diverse missions and I have personally checked into each one and met with each CEO. I feel comfortable giving my hard earned money (ok my husband's) to. *Disclaimer* This list is in NO way exhaustive. These are simply ones I have interacted with, reviewed tax records of, and found to be exceptional. I am positive there are others out there.
1. Widow's Jar Ministries.
OK - so on this one I am partial because my mom runs this charity. She founded it because she felt that many missionaries, though supported through local churches, don't get everything they need. She has been able to send car parts, medical supplies, and even a special mastectomy bra to one missionary's wife. (Who was so overjoyed she cried for days) My parents are in their late 60s and are both retired. Instead of taking their Winnebago around the country they are working furiously for others in need. I can attest first hand to the passion and love the drives this organization.
www.widowsjar.org
2. The Starfish Initiative
This organization allows children who perform high but are in low performing schools to attend, tuition free, a local accredited private school. It also sets them up with a Mentor who helps them adjust to all the changes a new school will bring. I am especially impressed with their CEO who has a passion for these kids that I have seen in few.
www.starfishinitiative.org
3. The greater Indianapolis Humane Society
I know the CEO of this organization very well too. When she first gave me a tour of the facility I was impressed. She told me about a fostering program they introduced that placed sick or need cats and dogs with a family for a while until they got adopted. This way it frees up a little space and lets the animals get some much needed one on one interaction. I was won over when she told me how many animals she herself was fostering.
www.indyhumane.org
4. The Damien Center
This organization was the very first organization I got to know and tour. The CEO I knew is now gone, but the organization still maintains fundraising integrity and passion of mission that is amazing. They provide free HIV tests to anyone who needs them. They also offer counseling and job finding, and just about any other service that may be difficult for a person with HIV.
www.damien.org
5. Easter Seals Crossroads
Another CEO who is passionate about his mission. Crossroads provides just about everything for anyone with disabilities. From HUGE computer screens, to physical rehabilitation, to a "day care" for disabled adults - this charity has it covered. Economically they do a LOT on a little.
www.crossroads.easterseals.org
I will refrain from listing the names of charities that I found to be SHAAAADY - because it's Christmas and, I don't want to get sued or something.
*Most importantly, remember that charities also want your time. Can't give money? Call and ask if you could volunteer. You'll be shocked at who is touched more*
Who are you?
Who are you Heidi Wolten? You sent me a Christmas card and yet, I have no eartly clue who you are. You addressed it only to me and not my husband, so it must be that you know only me. You also missed a number in m house number so we can't be THAT close of friends.
I have wracked my brain and yet I find that I know no one by that name or who lives in Louisville. Have I forgotten an old and dear friend? I certainly hope not.
Meanwhile, I am very confused and slightly creeped out that someone I do not know has my address. Please don't come kill me in the night.
We have coyotes out here and I will sick them on you if you are coming to kill me.
If, however, you come in peace then great. Please remind me of who you are and accept my deepest apologies for not remembering!
I have wracked my brain and yet I find that I know no one by that name or who lives in Louisville. Have I forgotten an old and dear friend? I certainly hope not.
Meanwhile, I am very confused and slightly creeped out that someone I do not know has my address. Please don't come kill me in the night.
We have coyotes out here and I will sick them on you if you are coming to kill me.
If, however, you come in peace then great. Please remind me of who you are and accept my deepest apologies for not remembering!
Exam Week Preview
I thought I'd pass along this little ditty I used to hand out to my students a few days before their English Final.
HISTORY: Describe the history of religion from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Demonstrate your understanding by creating your own religion and describing its likely impact on world affairs. Be brief, concise and specific.
LITERATURE: Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.
MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
PSYCHOLOGY: Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left.
ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Run for Congress. Build a political power base. Successfully pass your plan and implement it.
PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
PHYSICS: Explain the general theory of relativity. Keep it simple. Now demonstrate the limits of faster-than-light travel through an experiment of your own design.
AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE: Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
MATHEMATICS: Give today's date, in metric.
CHEMISTRY. Transform lead into gold. You will find a beaker and three lead sinkersunder your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.
POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
** EXTRA CREDIT **Define the Universe. Give two examples.
HISTORY: Describe the history of religion from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Demonstrate your understanding by creating your own religion and describing its likely impact on world affairs. Be brief, concise and specific.
LITERATURE: Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.
MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
PSYCHOLOGY: Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left.
ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Run for Congress. Build a political power base. Successfully pass your plan and implement it.
PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
PHYSICS: Explain the general theory of relativity. Keep it simple. Now demonstrate the limits of faster-than-light travel through an experiment of your own design.
AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE: Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
MATHEMATICS: Give today's date, in metric.
CHEMISTRY. Transform lead into gold. You will find a beaker and three lead sinkersunder your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.
POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
** EXTRA CREDIT **Define the Universe. Give two examples.
Thursday 13 December 2007
Take Your Candle
A nice holiday greeting from Ball State's University Singers. They really are fantastic!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cXwKUD797E&eurl=http://castblog.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/a-holiday-greeting/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cXwKUD797E&eurl=http://castblog.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/a-holiday-greeting/
Sunday 9 December 2007
The gift that keeps on giving
I know I haven't had a long insightful post in a while, and there's one in particular I've been meaning to write for months but I just, "haven't had the time."
I think it's really a matter of - I just can't find the right words to say what it is I am so desperate to get outside of myself.
When I was younger (in fact, up until about 5 years ago) I was incredibly good at showing people how much I cared, how thankful I was. When someone did something nice for me, I immediately would try to think of a creative way to do something equally nice. At times, not enjoying what it was they gave me/did for me because I'd be so consumed with finding a way to thank them. Then, almost overnight - something changed. When someone did something big for me - I went from some huge overture, to not thanking them at all really. It's like - how do say "thank you" parents for spending X thousands of dollars on your wedding? How do you show your appreciation when someone rearranges their life for you for a few weeks because you just had a baby and are so freaked out you can barely move let alone take care of a newborn? So I just stopped. Weird - I know.
I say all that to say that recently, someone I love a lot did something HUGE for me. I must say that my husband is incredibly ahead of the curve when it comes to being romantic. He left about 12 hours ago for a 3 day trip to Chicago and I've already found sweet love notes in my sock drawer, bathroom, and cell phone. He also left some pesos in my pillow for reasons not entirely known by me. But this HUGE thing was not done by my husband. It was done by one of my former students.
I've written about her before - Emily. She became an English teacher in South Carolina. It was her I took off to see a few weeks ago with her family. She mentioned to me in the middle of September that she was working on my birthday present. I e-mailed her that for heavens sake she was a first year teacher and she should be spending her time on more valuable things - like sleep. But, a few weeks later, after a looooooooong night at a Ball State event I came home to find a little packet on my counter mixed in with the mail. I recognized her handwriting (any good teacher can!) and was admittedly excited to see what she sent me. I pulled out a CD with the words "180 days" written on it. I sat an pondered what on earth that could mean - what was happening in 180 days - what happened 180 days ago......and I couldn't figure it out so I just popped it into my computer, figuring it was a "mix tape" or something.
It was a video. The first image was her classroom! I recognized items that I had given her from my own first classroom. My favourite Union Jack flag hung on her back wall, laminated pictures of British poets, even my Shakespeare finger puppet! She was giving me a tour of her classroom! She then showed me their auditorium and introduced me to some of her students! She taped a segment of the play they were working on, and some of their fun acting exercises. (Do I even need to mention I was in tears at this point?) Then I heard her say, "Say hi to Miss Van." Her students were introducing themselves to me! Then, they were all huddled on stage telling me, "You must have been a good teacher, because Miss Reddick is a really good teacher. She talks about you a lot." (Am now in my second box of tissues) They invited me to come see their play so that they could meet me. Then, they all sang Happy Birthday to me. Me! They've never even met me! Here are a bunch of High School kids who have 245 other things to care about - and they're sitting there singing Happy Birthday to a woman they've never met. (I was in hysterics!) She concluded her video with a touching message that said that she touches her students lives for 180 days (DUH! How did I miss that!) a year, and that I touch them through her.
I thought I was going to die. I was sobbing my face off in the middle of my living room pretty much being held up by my husband.
I can't believe she cares enough about me to make SUCH a statement. Yes we were close when I was teaching, and we stayed in contact through her college years, but - I was just her High School English and Drama teacher, it's not like I rescued her from a burning building. I can't imagine what I could have done to warrant such time and love.
My 3 years teaching were the best years of my life (baby year excluded). Nothing (except mothering) was such hard work, so draining, and so amazingly fulfilling and rewarding. I was born to be a teacher, and hope very much to return to it some day. But even if I do, there will never ever be a group of kids like my first group. There just something about those kids who struggle through your first years of teaching with you - who forgive you for making stupid mistakes on them - who secretly like you but pretend to despise you. You form a very weird, strong bond. High Schoolers are especially tough. Little kids love their teachers - they want you to come home with them and live with them. High Schoolers - you have to put on your armor first to prepare for their pointed darts. They are convinced you hate them because you make them work hard. They try to make your life difficult for no other reason than you got on them for forgetting their book - for the 3rd time that week. You certainly don't do it for the instant gratification (or the money).
I didn't know how to thank Emily for what she did. Even now when I think about it - it brings tears to my eyes. I think I ended up leaving her some cheesy message on her facebook page. Certainly nothing close to how I felt, and still feel for what she did. It is I who was so truly blessed to have her in my life.
I used to think that I loved my students just about as much as their parents did. Of course, now that I am a parent I feel foolish for that thought. But, for those 3 years they were the single most important thing in my life. Their triumphs were my own, their losses shared. Now they're growing up, graduating - even getting married and having children of their own.
Delayed gratification never felt so good.
I think it's really a matter of - I just can't find the right words to say what it is I am so desperate to get outside of myself.
When I was younger (in fact, up until about 5 years ago) I was incredibly good at showing people how much I cared, how thankful I was. When someone did something nice for me, I immediately would try to think of a creative way to do something equally nice. At times, not enjoying what it was they gave me/did for me because I'd be so consumed with finding a way to thank them. Then, almost overnight - something changed. When someone did something big for me - I went from some huge overture, to not thanking them at all really. It's like - how do say "thank you" parents for spending X thousands of dollars on your wedding? How do you show your appreciation when someone rearranges their life for you for a few weeks because you just had a baby and are so freaked out you can barely move let alone take care of a newborn? So I just stopped. Weird - I know.
I say all that to say that recently, someone I love a lot did something HUGE for me. I must say that my husband is incredibly ahead of the curve when it comes to being romantic. He left about 12 hours ago for a 3 day trip to Chicago and I've already found sweet love notes in my sock drawer, bathroom, and cell phone. He also left some pesos in my pillow for reasons not entirely known by me. But this HUGE thing was not done by my husband. It was done by one of my former students.
I've written about her before - Emily. She became an English teacher in South Carolina. It was her I took off to see a few weeks ago with her family. She mentioned to me in the middle of September that she was working on my birthday present. I e-mailed her that for heavens sake she was a first year teacher and she should be spending her time on more valuable things - like sleep. But, a few weeks later, after a looooooooong night at a Ball State event I came home to find a little packet on my counter mixed in with the mail. I recognized her handwriting (any good teacher can!) and was admittedly excited to see what she sent me. I pulled out a CD with the words "180 days" written on it. I sat an pondered what on earth that could mean - what was happening in 180 days - what happened 180 days ago......and I couldn't figure it out so I just popped it into my computer, figuring it was a "mix tape" or something.
It was a video. The first image was her classroom! I recognized items that I had given her from my own first classroom. My favourite Union Jack flag hung on her back wall, laminated pictures of British poets, even my Shakespeare finger puppet! She was giving me a tour of her classroom! She then showed me their auditorium and introduced me to some of her students! She taped a segment of the play they were working on, and some of their fun acting exercises. (Do I even need to mention I was in tears at this point?) Then I heard her say, "Say hi to Miss Van." Her students were introducing themselves to me! Then, they were all huddled on stage telling me, "You must have been a good teacher, because Miss Reddick is a really good teacher. She talks about you a lot." (Am now in my second box of tissues) They invited me to come see their play so that they could meet me. Then, they all sang Happy Birthday to me. Me! They've never even met me! Here are a bunch of High School kids who have 245 other things to care about - and they're sitting there singing Happy Birthday to a woman they've never met. (I was in hysterics!) She concluded her video with a touching message that said that she touches her students lives for 180 days (DUH! How did I miss that!) a year, and that I touch them through her.
I thought I was going to die. I was sobbing my face off in the middle of my living room pretty much being held up by my husband.
I can't believe she cares enough about me to make SUCH a statement. Yes we were close when I was teaching, and we stayed in contact through her college years, but - I was just her High School English and Drama teacher, it's not like I rescued her from a burning building. I can't imagine what I could have done to warrant such time and love.
My 3 years teaching were the best years of my life (baby year excluded). Nothing (except mothering) was such hard work, so draining, and so amazingly fulfilling and rewarding. I was born to be a teacher, and hope very much to return to it some day. But even if I do, there will never ever be a group of kids like my first group. There just something about those kids who struggle through your first years of teaching with you - who forgive you for making stupid mistakes on them - who secretly like you but pretend to despise you. You form a very weird, strong bond. High Schoolers are especially tough. Little kids love their teachers - they want you to come home with them and live with them. High Schoolers - you have to put on your armor first to prepare for their pointed darts. They are convinced you hate them because you make them work hard. They try to make your life difficult for no other reason than you got on them for forgetting their book - for the 3rd time that week. You certainly don't do it for the instant gratification (or the money).
I didn't know how to thank Emily for what she did. Even now when I think about it - it brings tears to my eyes. I think I ended up leaving her some cheesy message on her facebook page. Certainly nothing close to how I felt, and still feel for what she did. It is I who was so truly blessed to have her in my life.
I used to think that I loved my students just about as much as their parents did. Of course, now that I am a parent I feel foolish for that thought. But, for those 3 years they were the single most important thing in my life. Their triumphs were my own, their losses shared. Now they're growing up, graduating - even getting married and having children of their own.
Delayed gratification never felt so good.
Been a Long Time Gone
Well, I am entering into new territory. I will be spending my first night alone with Madline tonight! I'm used to spending days with her, but allll day and evening and night - well that's a tall order.
But many of my mom friends do it, so I have to be able to do it too right? :)
I'm stocked up on Goldfish and Tylenol so we should be ok! :)
Wish me luck!
But many of my mom friends do it, so I have to be able to do it too right? :)
I'm stocked up on Goldfish and Tylenol so we should be ok! :)
Wish me luck!
Friday 7 December 2007
Friend across the Miles
I posted my same little rant that I posted here yesterday on my facebook page and got quite the reply from my old friend Betsy. We were kindred spirits in College - both vegetarians, both a little off the beaten path, loved the arts.
She ended up moving abroad and now lives in Edinburgh. (Not the outlets down south) :)
We are now very different in some of our political beliefs and she was sooooooooo worried that she had offended me. That made me sad. It's terrible that 2 people couldn't be friends who had opposing beliefs isn't it? I am certainly not an expert in any field (ok, maybe John Milton and Charlie the Unicorn) so I am always welcome to dialogue. Especially now that my days seem to be filled with poopy diapers and teething tablets. It's because of reading and researching and talking to people differently than myself that I have changed my mind on lots of things. For instance, I never thought someone could really pull off the 80s slouch boots - but I have a friend who TOTALLY rocks them!
I have my core beliefs - my convictions - but I have a lot of things that I vacillate on - for which I enjoy sharp dialogue. I don't ever want to live in a word where we couldn't oppose each other and still like each other.
Love ya Bets! I'll always remember our good times on 2nd floor!
She ended up moving abroad and now lives in Edinburgh. (Not the outlets down south) :)
We are now very different in some of our political beliefs and she was sooooooooo worried that she had offended me. That made me sad. It's terrible that 2 people couldn't be friends who had opposing beliefs isn't it? I am certainly not an expert in any field (ok, maybe John Milton and Charlie the Unicorn) so I am always welcome to dialogue. Especially now that my days seem to be filled with poopy diapers and teething tablets. It's because of reading and researching and talking to people differently than myself that I have changed my mind on lots of things. For instance, I never thought someone could really pull off the 80s slouch boots - but I have a friend who TOTALLY rocks them!
I have my core beliefs - my convictions - but I have a lot of things that I vacillate on - for which I enjoy sharp dialogue. I don't ever want to live in a word where we couldn't oppose each other and still like each other.
Love ya Bets! I'll always remember our good times on 2nd floor!
Thursday 6 December 2007
Bendy ARMS
I was watching CNN this morning and heard President Bush discussing a bill that would aid homeowners whose houses were in danger of being forclosed because of ARM loans.
But wait... didn't these people know the terms of the mortage when they signed the papers? They knew things could flucuate wildly.....but they decided to take the risk anyway.
If they were in over their heads, how is that the governments (and my tax dollars) problem?
Am I missing something? Seriously, is there something about this that I'm not understanding? I'm not trying to be a snot - I just want to understand the reasoning.
Along this vein, President Bush - I bought a pair of BCBG stilettos that I thought would be a fantastic investmet and they ended up not going with anything I owned and sitting in my closet. Would you please give me some money for my own poor choice?
>,
>{ r4g6
But wait... didn't these people know the terms of the mortage when they signed the papers? They knew things could flucuate wildly.....but they decided to take the risk anyway.
If they were in over their heads, how is that the governments (and my tax dollars) problem?
Am I missing something? Seriously, is there something about this that I'm not understanding? I'm not trying to be a snot - I just want to understand the reasoning.
Along this vein, President Bush - I bought a pair of BCBG stilettos that I thought would be a fantastic investmet and they ended up not going with anything I owned and sitting in my closet. Would you please give me some money for my own poor choice?
>,
>{ r4g6
Wednesday 5 December 2007
Tuesday 4 December 2007
The true north strong and free
Go Cards! Ball State has been officially invited to the International Bowl to play Rutgers University. WOOOO HOOOO!
This maaaaaaaaaaaaay mean that we will be visiting our friends to the north after the New Year. Still lots up in the air though, we'll see.
I must give a "shout out" to my old roomie Shyla. She made me learn the Canadian National Anthem since she was a Canuck and had to learn ours. It's come in suprisingly handy here and there.
Monday 3 December 2007
Because I could not stop for death
- it kindly stopped for me.It had to happen sometime...all my baby momma friends were getting sick and their babies were getting sick. So now it's just my turn. I think that Madeline got ME sick, not the other way around - but it doesn't really matter now. All that matters is that we don't get Daddy sick!!
Madeline looks like death and I feel like it. Her nose is running constantly and I am chasing her around with a tissue non stop. There's no one here to wipe my nose so I'm managing that as well.
It's amazing how something as small as a little cold can stop you in your tracks. Headache, bodyaches, ear, nose....grrrrrrrrrrrr
Stupid Eve!
Sunday 25 November 2007
Stag Vacation
Last week I got to go on my own little vacation. I hitched a ride with the Reddicks - a family I knew from looong ago. I taught both of their children - Emily and Andrew. Emily is now a teacher in South Carolina. She is also the Drama Director and was putting on her very first play Ten Little Indians. Steve was awesome enough to take TWO days off work to be with Madeline for FOUR days! (WOW!) I had a blast, got to see lots of people I hadn't seen in ages, but missed my family terribly and was SO glad to pull into my driveway and kiss my babies!
Andrew - showing me silly videos on YouTube and stealing my Fruit by the Foot
I saw this sign at Emily's school - and thought it was hilarious.
Two of my former students - Laura and Andrew!
Emily in all her gorgeousness and me with my skeleton face! I was SO proud of her!!
My students and the Reddicks
All of us together after the play
My mentor - Becky. She's the reason I became a teacher. She lives only 15 minutes away from Emily!!
My long lost friend Christa "Do you have a pick" Lawless (Morgan). I crashed at her house all weekend. We had TONS of fun!
Christa's cat - Roo.
Their other cat - Gremlin.
Their miniature Lab - Zoe.
Andrew - showing me silly videos on YouTube and stealing my Fruit by the Foot
I saw this sign at Emily's school - and thought it was hilarious.
Two of my former students - Laura and Andrew!
Emily in all her gorgeousness and me with my skeleton face! I was SO proud of her!!
My students and the Reddicks
All of us together after the play
My mentor - Becky. She's the reason I became a teacher. She lives only 15 minutes away from Emily!!
My long lost friend Christa "Do you have a pick" Lawless (Morgan). I crashed at her house all weekend. We had TONS of fun!
Christa's cat - Roo.
Their other cat - Gremlin.
Their miniature Lab - Zoe.
Tuesday 20 November 2007
A land of sweets and joy and joyness!!
Ok, I am taking a poll. Please click the link below and tell me if you think this little video is funny. It's about 4 minutes long but it's worth it. My former student Andrew showed it to me and I kept saying, "This is SO stupid!" but then I kept saying "Charrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlie" the whole weekend. I didn't think it was at all funny the first time, but the next couple times I almost bust my spleen laughing.
I'd love your opinion. Lemme know!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus
I'd love your opinion. Lemme know!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus
Tuesday 13 November 2007
Go Cards!!
I had to post the cool print that my husband desined for Ball State Football's last home game. It's sort of mushed up because of blogger, but I thought it was super cool looking.Good job sweetie!
Baaaaaah!
One of the most rediculous 80s turned 07 craze is the ENORMOUS sunglasses. Have you seen these? (I don't know how you could've missed them really) When I first saw a pair I pointed and laughed. They are especially funny on these waif-like girls like Nicole Riche.
Well, guess who's embraced the trend?
I can't help it! I put a pair on one day and I realized how much of my face they cover and I had to have a pair! It's the BEST cure for not having the time (or desire) to perty up my face.) My latest pair is literally over 3 inches tall.
So what I think would be really hilarious would be to get one of those HUGE pair of sunglasses that you like win at the amusement parks and wear them around. You know - the ones that literally dwarf your face and come in colours like retina burning pink and I wish I was blind yellow. I would like to wear them around town (ok, well not my town but maybe a posh town like LA) and see if I could start a craze.
"Uma Thurman was seen tonight hanging out with pals Josh Groban and Brad Pitt wearing these enormous sunglasses. No word on if she'll be marketing these uber trendy specs or not."
Thursday 8 November 2007
Where's my scythe?
Our neighbors recently left on one of their world-wide jaunts and asked us to take care of their cache of animals. (2 dogs, 2 cats) Seeing as they are THE best neighbors in the world, we were happy to oblige.
Dog number 1 - Coach - German Shepard- Coach is 319 years old and has such bad hips that she sort of hops around when she walks. It's quite heartbreaking really. Coach also likes to howl at pretty much everything - the 500 coyotes in our backyard, our dogs, blades of grass, what have you. Coach needs an Aspirin every day but she won't just eat it. So first we have to give her a piece of bacon to trick her. (No biggie, I'd do lots of things for a piece of bacon) But this bacon is raw so I am really in no way a direct threat to her bacon consumption. After the 1st strip of bacon, we wrap the aspirin up in the second piece of bacon and sneak it into her that way.
Dog number 2 - Ben - Mutt that sort of resembles a Cocker Spaniel. Ben is very loveable and the only dog on the block (of 5 houses) who can rival Sugar Baby's craziness. I have also seen with my own eyes, Ben charge a coyote. I try to sneak snacks to the dogs next door because they don't get many frivolities such as sleeping inside and "Beggin Strips." So if Austin doesn't dig them out of my pockets first, I'll sneak them one or two. However, they usually aren't interested and I am forced to sort of shove it in their mouths in one huge piece forcing them to look like Salvador Dali with their big bacon mustache.
Cats - One Orange and one Black and White. That's about all I know about them - except they obviously get along with dogs quite well.
When Steve put Madeline down to bed, I decided to go over and corral the dogs and cats into their garage for the night. It's FREEZING in Indy now so I put on my heaviest coat with hood, pulled it close to me and congratulated myself on being SUCH a good neighbor! I sneaked some treats into my pocket and head out.
As aforementioned there are literally 5 houses on my street, so we know the "goings on" of each other pretty well. As I trudged across our yard into theirs, I saw a car coming around the curve in our street. It's then that I saw myself as I must have looked to the car occupants. I'm sort of waddling because I'm in jeans and you know how horrible it is to be in jeans when you're cold. I have on a thick coat with the hood pulled down over my face and my hands shoved deeply into my pockets. (In which I found 34 cents, a mento, and a pacifier) I felt sort of like the grim reaper, come to summon the dogs into their cold garage for the night.
I flipped on the lights in the garage, expecting them all to be there - perhaps playing poker or something - but no luck. I was 0 for 4. So I start wispering "BEN! COACH! CATS!"
I continue to do this for about 2 minutes with no positve result. I start thinking about how to lure them into the garage. With my dogs treats will get you pretty much anything you want so I start shaking the treats in my hand. Then I hear a scratching at the garage door (a la the urban myth of the man on top of the car with the hook) so I sneak outside and I found myself a cat! The cat comes over to check me out so I am able to lure him/her into the garage just by letting him/her follow me in. SCORE
I keep calling for the dogs. I walk around the front of their house which is very dark and deserted and keep huffing out "BEN! COACH! DOGGIES!" I even tried pronouncing Ben like "Bin" as our neighbor does.
No luck.
I start to get worried. What if they were lost in the cornfields or if one of them had been hit by a car, or more likely in my town, a combine.
I hissed louder. "WHERE ARE YOU DOGS?!" Then I see their neighbor open their garage door. She's coming up her driveway. (Does everyone work until like 7:30?) Again I am worried about a police call. I couldn't exactly blame them.
Finally it dawns on me to check the back of the house where the dogs like to lounge about on the grass. There they both are. Chillin'.
"Come on! Let's eat some dinner!"
Ben starts to follow me - always eager for a pat. Coach isn't so sure. I keep up my motivational speech as my lips are starting to freeze. (It also doesn't help that I had a huge tooth drilled and am sort of slurring my words.) Ben goes into the garage and I try throwing treats on the ground in front of Coach to coax her in. "Go on Coach! Get the treat!" I think maybe I should throw one in her mouth first so she can taste how delicious it is and will then fetch the other one. I throw it and it bounces off her nose onto the ground.
At this point Black Cat runs out of the garage!
"Wait! Nononononono!" I scare her/him back in.
I shut us all in the cold garage and fill everyone's food and water bowls and realize I am still minus one cat.
I shut the door behind me (brilliant, I know) and hunt for Orange cat. I spot her under a pine tree. I reach down for her which apparently means "I want to kill you and eat you for dinner" in Cat language. She hissed at me. Literally hissed, like a snake. I jump back. I have 2 dogs. I don't know how to "lure" a cat to do anything. Plus we're on equal footing as she hasn't been declawed.
I go with the generic, "Heeeere Kitty Kitty!" which just brought on more hissing.
My toes are frozen together. I run in the opposite direction around the tree which just makes her go under the tree and consider climbing it. (Maybe she though it was a Christmas tree and there were priceless ornaments to be broken? No, that was my childhood cat)
Finally I sit down and call to her again. I hold out the back of my hand for her to sniff. I imagine it smelled like dinner (Chicken and rice) and our dogs. Whatever it was, it made her lick me which told me I was in like Flynn. I picked her up and plopped her down into the manger with the rest of the animals. They each went to their respective corners and settled in.
I just hope they don't get burgled tonight. That would be just my luck.
I saw the sign
*Why I should never have left the field of teaching English*Oh, and if you don't see what's wrong with the sign we can't be friends anymore. ;)
Tuesday 6 November 2007
Crud, I forgot to blow up Parliament
As many of you know, being that I am an Anglophile and try to celebrate all British holidays, I am very upset with myself for forgetting Guy Fawkes Day. Guy Fawkes spearheaded a plot to blow up Parliament and kill King James because he was Protestant. (Silly Catholics! ;) He was caught just as he was about to light the fuse.
So the Brits set off fireworks and have big bonfires in which they burn little replicas of Guy. Lots of potatoes thrown in the fire and eaten and lots of toffee. YUM!
I must have a sparkler somewhere around here I could light...
Saturday 3 November 2007
Steve the Builder
Steve considers his high school years as a pole vaulter
Riding in the bucket of the tractor is work??
Madeline is ready to help!!Friday 2 November 2007
Monday 29 October 2007
Rub me Tender
At risk of sounding like a romantic silly, I LOVE MY HUSBAND!
Last week was a hard one for Madeline and me. She seems to be getting 500 teeth at once (yes, she's like a shark) and it's made her into this horrible grouch little toddler.
I've been lamenting (Shakespearean for whining) to Steve about it and he was a real gem on Sunday - I took a 2.5 hour nap and we all relaxed and watched the game together. Then, Steve dropped a bomb on me. He had worked with his mother to come over and watch the baby this afternoon so I could go get a massage!!
It was a fantastically timed, wonderful surprise. Some people are "I don't like people touching me." I, however, am not that way. I could get a massage every single day and I'm not even kidding.
I had a one hour appointment at Villaggio with Blake. It was one of the best hours I've had recently. It was refreshing on every level. I could have stayed there for the rest of the day.
Thanks sweetie, I think it helped file down those fangs that have come out so much lately.
Saturday 27 October 2007
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
I'm having a rare case of insomnia and I was fiddling around in my e-mail and found this e-mail from one year ago.
Me to Steve
Wow - can you even believe that we got almost 7 hours of sleep last night????????? How AWESOME was that????????? I am mostly happy that you were able to "catch up" on some of your much needed sleep. It means so much to me for you to wake up not looking like you had to work the night shift too. I hope it helped. mostly, I hope we can replicate it. I wouldn't even mind getting up 2 or 3 more times with her....just to have some hours of peaceful sleep. But I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Meanwhile I am going to try to keep her awake again today.
I miss you....I can't tell you how nice it was for you to hide that card. I don't need to tell you that it brought tears to my eyes over and over to read it. It probably meant the most of any card you've ever given me. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
She is up and alert right now - a little fussy but at least awake!
I can't wait to wrap my arms around you tonight. I love you
erin
and the reply -
Last night was great!!! I think I will feel that extra sleep tomorrow though and my body today is running off the limited sleep we got the night before!
I am really glad you liked the card, I have had it for a while now.
I love you sweetheart and cannot wait to get home to see you. Whether we are sleeping, or trying to sleep- as long as we are together that is all that matters to me.
Steve
I'm sure he'll be mortified at my putting our secret romantic-ness up here...but oh well.
It's amazing though, at how quickly we get all jaded and everything isn't it? Those days dating you just swoon over each other and end up doing things like taking a 10 mile bike trip or watching an action movie to impress each other. Then, you get married and you're like "I'm not watching these crappy movies anymore and I hate exersize."
It's amazing he hasn't indicted me for fraud.
I love you Steven. I don't tell you enough. I wish I could write off my bad attitudes as post partum moodiness, but I think after a year I'm not allowed to use that anymore. No one else on this EARTH could handle me like you do.
"Tip me over and pour me out"
Me to Steve
Wow - can you even believe that we got almost 7 hours of sleep last night????????? How AWESOME was that????????? I am mostly happy that you were able to "catch up" on some of your much needed sleep. It means so much to me for you to wake up not looking like you had to work the night shift too. I hope it helped. mostly, I hope we can replicate it. I wouldn't even mind getting up 2 or 3 more times with her....just to have some hours of peaceful sleep. But I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Meanwhile I am going to try to keep her awake again today.
I miss you....I can't tell you how nice it was for you to hide that card. I don't need to tell you that it brought tears to my eyes over and over to read it. It probably meant the most of any card you've ever given me. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
She is up and alert right now - a little fussy but at least awake!
I can't wait to wrap my arms around you tonight. I love you
erin
and the reply -
Last night was great!!! I think I will feel that extra sleep tomorrow though and my body today is running off the limited sleep we got the night before!
I am really glad you liked the card, I have had it for a while now.
I love you sweetheart and cannot wait to get home to see you. Whether we are sleeping, or trying to sleep- as long as we are together that is all that matters to me.
Steve
I'm sure he'll be mortified at my putting our secret romantic-ness up here...but oh well.
It's amazing though, at how quickly we get all jaded and everything isn't it? Those days dating you just swoon over each other and end up doing things like taking a 10 mile bike trip or watching an action movie to impress each other. Then, you get married and you're like "I'm not watching these crappy movies anymore and I hate exersize."
It's amazing he hasn't indicted me for fraud.
I love you Steven. I don't tell you enough. I wish I could write off my bad attitudes as post partum moodiness, but I think after a year I'm not allowed to use that anymore. No one else on this EARTH could handle me like you do.
"Tip me over and pour me out"
Thanks Dad!
My dad (in the picture he's the one on the left - not the one wielding the gun looking thing, or the hairy one on all fours) came over today to help Steve and Omar with the Pergola.
I also asked him to help me out. My dad is an expert on many things. Including but not limited to: Old Testament Theology, Dispensationalism, Cars and all things relating to, and Abraham Lincoln. He is also an expert on hymns greater than 200 years old, filled with deep theology and words no one understands like "bulwark" and "ebeneezer" and sung at an exceedingly slow pace.
I have had one of the aforementioned hymns in my head for about 2 weeks. In school around Thanksgiving we always sang this one song - and all I could remember was ".....gather together....ask the Lord's blessing - dadadaaaaaa ddaa da the wicked oppressing now cease from distressing... dada da He forgets not His own."
It was driving me mad. So much so that I almost went into a music store and hummed it for someone to get some closure.
Luckily for me Mr. Old Hymn man knew it!
"We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing;
he chastens and hastens his will to make known;
the wicked oppressing now cease from distressing:
sing praise to his Name, he forgets not his own."
You can hear the tune, in all its midi glory, here:
Friday 26 October 2007
Baby Momma
So - I met up with a bunch of my peeps last night, and we went to "My Girlfriend's Kitchen." You pre-order some food and then you go to this place and make it. They have all the ingrediants out and ready. (And unless you're retarded like me and don't read the directions) it's really easy and fun!!We stayed out until they kicked us out at 10:30. It was the most fun I have had in a long time and the first time I've been out by myself without the baby!
Tuesday 23 October 2007
Live People Don't Understand Do They?
A long, but incredible video.
http://cmu.edu/uls/journeys/
Or here, a shorter version on Oprah's site
http://www2.oprah.com/health/oz/oz_20071022_350_106.jhtml?promocode=HP23
http://cmu.edu/uls/journeys/
Or here, a shorter version on Oprah's site
http://www2.oprah.com/health/oz/oz_20071022_350_106.jhtml?promocode=HP23
Animal House
On Friday we went out with some friends to celebrate our cluster of birthdays. Madeline was exceptionally well behaved and the food was exceptionally good! Madeline even opened her own presents with just a liiiiittle help from mommy. She got her very first colouring book and crayons! They're special crayons for kids. They are impaled in a weeble wobble. The coloring book was especially large as well so she can stay in the lines. ;)
But the best present was the combined Madeline/Daddy present. It's called a "Daddle." It's a soft saddle that attaches to Daddy's back that the child can ride on! (See above!) I have yet to nail Steve down and make him put it on for a picture.
Oh well, one more animal in the house won't make much difference!
Thursday 18 October 2007
Does that come in my size?
Since Madeline doesn't ever sit still any more, I had to get Daddy to help with this one. So -
here's her birthday outfit. (Don't worry she has a cute little dress for her party) It says, "I'm skin and bones! Need more candy!"
Wednesday 17 October 2007
So Eden Sank to Grief
I am a British Literature enthusiast, but there is one American Poet that just moves me beyond others. Robert Frost. How can you NOT love him?
Here is one my favourite poems for fall:
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Here is one my favourite poems for fall:
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock
Steve has decided he wants to make some more messes in our house! Except, instead of making a mess of toys like Madeline, he wants to make a mess in the dirt! Namely, he recruited some friends to help him build a Pergola over the back patio.
So I have decided to make record of said event. For insurance purposes and posterity both!
The house as it stands today.
Madeline says, "Doesn't look like work to me!"
This looks like fun!!
Steve and Omar inspect the hole they dug. *note* Please keep it covered I don't want a "baby Jessica" situation on my hands!!
Holy cow that's a big tractor!
That's an awful big piece of machinery. I hope the testosterone doesn't get the better of them!
So I have decided to make record of said event. For insurance purposes and posterity both!
The house as it stands today.
Madeline says, "Doesn't look like work to me!"
This looks like fun!!
Steve and Omar inspect the hole they dug. *note* Please keep it covered I don't want a "baby Jessica" situation on my hands!!
Holy cow that's a big tractor!
That's an awful big piece of machinery. I hope the testosterone doesn't get the better of them!
Sunday 14 October 2007
Because I'm not busy enough!
I have started yet, another blog! As you can see in my link list, it's called " 5 Things."
This was an idea that I totally stole from my HS English Teacher who does 5 Things lists on facebook. I thought it would be funny to have a blog just for that.
*I wonder why I feel like I need to justify myself. Hmmmm*
Anywho - so check it out. It's nothing exciting so don't get your hopes up. ;)
I thought about starting a blog to review childrens items. (www.reademandreap.blogspot.com) Then I decided that was too much work so ....that hasn't happened.
This was an idea that I totally stole from my HS English Teacher who does 5 Things lists on facebook. I thought it would be funny to have a blog just for that.
*I wonder why I feel like I need to justify myself. Hmmmm*
Anywho - so check it out. It's nothing exciting so don't get your hopes up. ;)
I thought about starting a blog to review childrens items. (www.reademandreap.blogspot.com) Then I decided that was too much work so ....that hasn't happened.
Thursday 11 October 2007
Wednesday 10 October 2007
Oh how life changes!
10 Words I used to say everyday in my old job:
1. Annual Report
2. Attorney General
3. Non-profit
4. FTC
5. 501 (c) (3)
6. Disclosure
7. 990
8. Indigenous
9. Files
10. CEO
10 Words I say everyday in my new job:
1. Onesie
2. Poopie
3. Jammies
4. Doggie (1 million times per day)
5. Mama
6. Dada
7. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
8. Stinky
9. Ball
10. No-no
Thursday 4 October 2007
Good Advice
I heard some good advice this morning that I thought I'd pass along. Turns out it's by one of my favourite authors, Odgen Nash.
He wrote the poem "The duck"
Behold the duck
It clucks
And when he eats
He bottom ups
"The Guppy"
Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens,
Bears have cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.
"The Ostrich"
The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs
Anyway, you get the picture. He writes fun poetry that will be really fun to read with little Madeline. But today I realized he also wrote some sage marriage advice:
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Sounds so easy....
He wrote the poem "The duck"
Behold the duck
It clucks
And when he eats
He bottom ups
"The Guppy"
Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens,
Bears have cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.
"The Ostrich"
The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs
Anyway, you get the picture. He writes fun poetry that will be really fun to read with little Madeline. But today I realized he also wrote some sage marriage advice:
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Sounds so easy....
Monday 1 October 2007
"The whole world's wrong, that's what's the matter."
I have lots to write about. I still need to talk about our craaazy week last week. And finally going to see OUR TOWN! ~Tada~But right now - I just feel really sad. I had a FABulous day . . . I got to spend the entire afternoon with my old college roomie - Kris. She has a baby just about Madeline's age so we had tons to catch up on!
I don't know why that would make me sad. Maybe it's because we were talking about our college days when life was easy. Maybe it's because my stomach hurts. Maybe it's because I have two loads of laundry waiting to be folded. Maybe it's because my mind is now full of Laundry and baby toys all day instead of Milton and Shakespeare. I think it was T S Eliot who said "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons." I say "I have measured out my life in laundry detergent scoops."
Maybe it's because I'm watching a documentary on a couple with twins who just had sextuplets. *That would be my luck - finally decide we can handle another baby and get pregnant with a litter*
I just feel sad. When I told my husband he of course wants to fix it. Like "My foot itches." Do men not ever just feel sad? I guess not..... He asked me to do a small simple thing and I just pouted and whined about it. I'm usually not that way.....what's gotten into me?
I just want to get in bed and cover up with my warm covers.
Sigh
Friday 28 September 2007
Marsha Marsha Marsha!
So I'll have to write another entry to bring everyone up to date on my crazy last few days. INcluding but not limited to: the ER, being drugged out of my mind, spending a few nights at my parents', and getting personally chauffered to Starbucks.
Right now I want to talk about a brush.
Steve and I spent last night at a hotel in downtown Indy for my birthday. It was really fun and really really nice. As I was packing up our bag, I used his brush. Since I had curled my hair under - it was fairly easy. Sometimes he asks me if he can borrow my brush. I always tell him the same thing. "I don't brush my hair." 90% of the time my hair is in a finger-brushed ponytail, or if I actually "do" it - it's really curly ergo, I'm not going to "brush" it.
So anywho he has this paddle brush and I can't help but feel like Marcia Brady. "97, 98, 99, 100!"
I used to have this friend, Christa, in college and she always was asking me if I had a pick.
A pick?
I would always tell her the same thing. "No Christa, not since 1987." And resisted the urge to say, "But I do have a banana clip and some legwarmers in my purse - I mean fanny pack!"
I'm not knocking the pick, I carried my fair share back in the day and some of my friends still use them - but it just always struck me as odd and that she would ask me - over and over - if I had a pick. odd.
Anywho - so it felt weird to brush my hair. I guess that's all I have to say about that.
Right now I want to talk about a brush.
Steve and I spent last night at a hotel in downtown Indy for my birthday. It was really fun and really really nice. As I was packing up our bag, I used his brush. Since I had curled my hair under - it was fairly easy. Sometimes he asks me if he can borrow my brush. I always tell him the same thing. "I don't brush my hair." 90% of the time my hair is in a finger-brushed ponytail, or if I actually "do" it - it's really curly ergo, I'm not going to "brush" it.
So anywho he has this paddle brush and I can't help but feel like Marcia Brady. "97, 98, 99, 100!"
I used to have this friend, Christa, in college and she always was asking me if I had a pick.
A pick?
I would always tell her the same thing. "No Christa, not since 1987." And resisted the urge to say, "But I do have a banana clip and some legwarmers in my purse - I mean fanny pack!"
I'm not knocking the pick, I carried my fair share back in the day and some of my friends still use them - but it just always struck me as odd and that she would ask me - over and over - if I had a pick. odd.
Anywho - so it felt weird to brush my hair. I guess that's all I have to say about that.
Wednesday 26 September 2007
a little test
http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/candidate-match-game.htm
Oh my goodness, my first choice came up as the most liberal democrat out there! EEk that can't be right! My second and third were Republicans though. ~Phew~
Oh my goodness, my first choice came up as the most liberal democrat out there! EEk that can't be right! My second and third were Republicans though. ~Phew~
Tuesday 25 September 2007
Monday 24 September 2007
Surprise!!!!
As many of you know... I have been planning Steve's surprise 30th birthday party for a loooong time. Well, this Saturday it went of without a hitch! I actually pulled it off and he never figured it out!
Surprise!!
His "Starry Starry Night" cake from Classic Cakes of Carmel
A great picture of the birthday boy! (Not so much me.....I have blue teeth!)
His art on display at the art gallery of Pendleton!
Surprise!!
His "Starry Starry Night" cake from Classic Cakes of Carmel
A great picture of the birthday boy! (Not so much me.....I have blue teeth!)
His art on display at the art gallery of Pendleton!
Friday 21 September 2007
Was that a creak?
Steve is rarely ever gone. This is one of the parts of his job I am so incredibly thankful for! Aside from some looooong days as the only parent, I...well...just get creeped out at night in this house when I'm here alone.
I remember when I was home alone as a kid-now, when I say "kid" I mean like - 14 - I would get really creeped out by my house at night. I would tell myself that it was the same ol' house that I was in every other night. I think you just get hyper-aware of every little thing that makes a sound. I find myself like peeeeeeeking around the doors and looking past every window i see. I'd turn on the alarm but then I'd forget about it and my husband would come in and set it off.
Pass the mustard . . .
Thursday 20 September 2007
Will you still love me Tomorrow?
The other night I sat Steve down with some "big" news.
I said, "We need to talk about something. There's something I need to tell you."
He furrowed a little bit. Those words usually don't bring the best news from me.
We sat down at the table. "Ok. Give it to me."
"I think I might be a Libertarian." I rushed on. "Not like, a TOTAL libertarian, but just . . . a little. I think I'm a little bit Libertarian."
"OK." He said.
He took that really well!
Now, this is from a couple that GRILLED each other on our second date about our political views. We literally covered abortion, taxes, gun control, immegration, and education in one night. We both have very specific views and wanted to make sure we weren't "wasting" our time.
"Well, tell me about it."
I told him I had been doing a lot of reading and researching, and I felt like the Libertarians were on to something. They're against property taxes. They feel like if you broke your back to pay off your house and the land you purchased, you shouldn't be taxed on your own property.
I think that's 100% right.
They also aren't against experimental medical treatment. The years and years of red tape pharmicutical companies are required to go through are a little ecessive. If there is an experimental treatment available and the risks have been properly assessed, why not let an individula person decide if that treatment is right for them? If the risks outweigh the benefits in their particular situation.
FREE ENTERPRISE>
They're also huge proponents of Privatization of just about everything. The private sector simply does thing better. They have to compete over customers, so they're constantly innovating. Why are so many of our Public Schools failing? Because it's a monopoly. You HAVE to go to the school in your district or pay money for a private school or pay to switch to another public school. Why not attach the money (say, around 8,000 in Indiana's case) to the CHILD and allow the parents to decide which school is the best fit? That way, schools would be forced to compete for their students and wouldn't be so complacent.
I read one case of a division of public works in Mississippi (I think) whose water system was so corroded and disgusting, no one could drink the water. The city said it would cost 10 million dollars to totally overhaul the issues and fix the problem. The Mayor did something CRA_ZY. He lets private companies bid on it. One company bid 2 million. They fixed the entire problem, plus others, and had money to spare. They were motivated by making a profit. What a difference competition makes!
Of course I am still conservative in my new found Libertarian views. I'm just glad my elephant still loves me!
Tuesday 18 September 2007
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
In the era of speed dating, I think there should be speed fighting.
I don't know about any of you, loyal readers, but I find that most of my marital fights start over something stupid like shoes or toothbrushes or something. The fight itself usually isn't that bad. Sometimes it's the making up that's worse. Cause sometimes when you're explaining why you got mad in the first place you get all mad again and then you go drudging up stuff from the past and every thing your partner's ever done wrong . . . and then you're fighting all over again.
So my suggestion is to have a code word that means, "I don't want to fight anymore, and I don't want to have that long drawn out post fight discussion."
Now, I am by no means saying you should avoid talking about WHY you're fighting or how you could work better together etc... but on those times when you know you're not fighting over anything substantial and you know you just don't have the energy to have the looooong post fight talk - you could just use a codeword like "Cheeseburger in Paradise" that means you just don't have it in you this time.
Those of us with young children, we're just too busy and too tired to have stupid 3hour fights anymore. Maybe something like "Regina Flange" or "Vespasian" that will bring a smile to your face and stop you both from tunnelling into that pit that becomes "We're going to Fight until I win" zone.
Or, maybe I'm just the only one with this problem.
I don't know about any of you, loyal readers, but I find that most of my marital fights start over something stupid like shoes or toothbrushes or something. The fight itself usually isn't that bad. Sometimes it's the making up that's worse. Cause sometimes when you're explaining why you got mad in the first place you get all mad again and then you go drudging up stuff from the past and every thing your partner's ever done wrong . . . and then you're fighting all over again.
So my suggestion is to have a code word that means, "I don't want to fight anymore, and I don't want to have that long drawn out post fight discussion."
Now, I am by no means saying you should avoid talking about WHY you're fighting or how you could work better together etc... but on those times when you know you're not fighting over anything substantial and you know you just don't have the energy to have the looooong post fight talk - you could just use a codeword like "Cheeseburger in Paradise" that means you just don't have it in you this time.
Those of us with young children, we're just too busy and too tired to have stupid 3hour fights anymore. Maybe something like "Regina Flange" or "Vespasian" that will bring a smile to your face and stop you both from tunnelling into that pit that becomes "We're going to Fight until I win" zone.
Or, maybe I'm just the only one with this problem.
Monday 17 September 2007
All that philosiphising for nothing
I was on the tractor over the weekend helping Steve aerate the lawn. (That came straight out of the book of things I thought I would never say!) It gives me some "alone" time away from the baby and gives him that special Father-Daughter bonding time. As I made my slow laps around the backyard, I noticed something pale and feathery in the grass. It was a dead little bird.
I don't know why it would catch me off guard - living in the "country" I do see these things from time to time. I guess there's always something about a small dead animal that makes you sad.
It's been a rough week in the Fulton family with death. We had a close family friend pass away last week, and it's plunged us all into the midst of solemnity. Steve, more than I, had to deal with the details et cetera. On Friday we left the graveside to visit another grave of a close family member. As he spent a few moments alone beside the site, I allowed myself to wander around. It was a gorgeous day and there were no people around. I don't mean to sound morose, but I really love graveyards. I remember meandering through them in Europe, wondering what people had chosen as their last words to the living. I remember seeing countless Jewish cemeteries where the headstones had been destroyed by German soldiers. I don't know why their families didn't fix them. Although they probably had more important issues at the time. But it just fascinated me to walk through the silent fields, imaging the details of the lives underneath me.
Seeing as these graveyards were in my native tongue, I could freely read what people had written on their headstones. Some said things like "Beloved Mother" or "Brother", Some had pictures etched, others just dates. One little stone caught my eye because it had a lamb on it. I found that an odd choice, but as I bent down I saw it was a five year old. My heart just ached. So many of the couples' gravestones said things about how much they loved each other, or witticisms about "moving to a bigger place." There were some with exact same date of death, and some - where a wife followed her husband by only a few days. That's always fascinated me.
As I started back toward my husband, I noticed a gravestone with an actual picture in it. I've never seen one with a "frame" of sorts to hold a photo, so I bent for a closer look.
It was an 11 month old.
I was as breathless as those on whose graves I had so carelessly tread. Someone lost their 11 month old baby. The same exact age as Madeline. I thought, for one second, about losing my baby girl, and nearly had an anxiety attack.
I remember when I first lost someone close to me - a friend close to my own age. I remember telling my mom a few months later, that I wanted to send my friend's parents a letter, telling them the things I loved about my friend, but I didn't want to be in poor taste. My Mother told me that, as a parents, when you bury a child, your worst fear is that they'll be forgotten. That no one will pause to remember them after a few years go by. That's always stuck with me.
According to the gravestone,the baby was born and died in the late 70s, just a few years before I was born. I don't know the family. I don't know the circumstances. But, at that moment, I was grieving for their loss. I prayed that at that exact moment they would feel comfort and know, somehow, that someone was thinking about their baby.
My little bird...my everything.
"They" say you can't understand the love you have for a child until you have one of your own. Truer words were never spoken. I've never loved or felt anything vaguely close to how much I love Madeline. I would give my life in a nanosecond if it would give a chance of saving her. It made me feel badly about those times I get frustrated with her for whining or not giving me 2 minutes to "myself." My baby is alive and healthy. Every day with her is a gift.
As I got closer to the bird, I was trying to figure out how to avoid it with the tractor and not leave a huge patch of tall, un-aerated grass. I can see it now:
Steve: "Why is there a huge patch of tall grass out there?"
Erin: "Because there was a dead bird out there."
Steve: "O...k."
Erin: "Well, I didn't want to run over him. You know . . . out of respect."
Although my husband would have understood, his overly sensitive, melancholy wife. I tried to reason myself into disassociating with the little bird. But, the moment was upon me, and I moved the tractor ever so slightly and missed the feathers. I thought maybe I could just walk over it in my high heels or something.
I parked the tractor and went to visit my own little one. She was wrapped up in blankets, her arm slung over her red already tattered bear. I resisted the urge to swoop her up, but ran my hand over her back for a long time.
I don't know what I'll do when she wants to leave the safety of my nest.
My husband and I settled in with a fire outside, and talked about the events of the week-finally having some time to reflect on them.
The next day I was scattering some of our fire's ashes on the compost (it keeps the dogs and coyotes out of it) and noticed the bird carcass a few feet away. I knew my city dog turned country scavenger would make a feast out of it, so I concocted a plan to scoop it to the far end of the yard with a shovel.
As I neared - I realized it was a dried up husk from some corn we'd roasted a few weeks before. It must have blown off the compost heap.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
I don't know why it would catch me off guard - living in the "country" I do see these things from time to time. I guess there's always something about a small dead animal that makes you sad.
It's been a rough week in the Fulton family with death. We had a close family friend pass away last week, and it's plunged us all into the midst of solemnity. Steve, more than I, had to deal with the details et cetera. On Friday we left the graveside to visit another grave of a close family member. As he spent a few moments alone beside the site, I allowed myself to wander around. It was a gorgeous day and there were no people around. I don't mean to sound morose, but I really love graveyards. I remember meandering through them in Europe, wondering what people had chosen as their last words to the living. I remember seeing countless Jewish cemeteries where the headstones had been destroyed by German soldiers. I don't know why their families didn't fix them. Although they probably had more important issues at the time. But it just fascinated me to walk through the silent fields, imaging the details of the lives underneath me.
Seeing as these graveyards were in my native tongue, I could freely read what people had written on their headstones. Some said things like "Beloved Mother" or "Brother", Some had pictures etched, others just dates. One little stone caught my eye because it had a lamb on it. I found that an odd choice, but as I bent down I saw it was a five year old. My heart just ached. So many of the couples' gravestones said things about how much they loved each other, or witticisms about "moving to a bigger place." There were some with exact same date of death, and some - where a wife followed her husband by only a few days. That's always fascinated me.
As I started back toward my husband, I noticed a gravestone with an actual picture in it. I've never seen one with a "frame" of sorts to hold a photo, so I bent for a closer look.
It was an 11 month old.
I was as breathless as those on whose graves I had so carelessly tread. Someone lost their 11 month old baby. The same exact age as Madeline. I thought, for one second, about losing my baby girl, and nearly had an anxiety attack.
I remember when I first lost someone close to me - a friend close to my own age. I remember telling my mom a few months later, that I wanted to send my friend's parents a letter, telling them the things I loved about my friend, but I didn't want to be in poor taste. My Mother told me that, as a parents, when you bury a child, your worst fear is that they'll be forgotten. That no one will pause to remember them after a few years go by. That's always stuck with me.
According to the gravestone,the baby was born and died in the late 70s, just a few years before I was born. I don't know the family. I don't know the circumstances. But, at that moment, I was grieving for their loss. I prayed that at that exact moment they would feel comfort and know, somehow, that someone was thinking about their baby.
My little bird...my everything.
"They" say you can't understand the love you have for a child until you have one of your own. Truer words were never spoken. I've never loved or felt anything vaguely close to how much I love Madeline. I would give my life in a nanosecond if it would give a chance of saving her. It made me feel badly about those times I get frustrated with her for whining or not giving me 2 minutes to "myself." My baby is alive and healthy. Every day with her is a gift.
As I got closer to the bird, I was trying to figure out how to avoid it with the tractor and not leave a huge patch of tall, un-aerated grass. I can see it now:
Steve: "Why is there a huge patch of tall grass out there?"
Erin: "Because there was a dead bird out there."
Steve: "O...k."
Erin: "Well, I didn't want to run over him. You know . . . out of respect."
Although my husband would have understood, his overly sensitive, melancholy wife. I tried to reason myself into disassociating with the little bird. But, the moment was upon me, and I moved the tractor ever so slightly and missed the feathers. I thought maybe I could just walk over it in my high heels or something.
I parked the tractor and went to visit my own little one. She was wrapped up in blankets, her arm slung over her red already tattered bear. I resisted the urge to swoop her up, but ran my hand over her back for a long time.
I don't know what I'll do when she wants to leave the safety of my nest.
My husband and I settled in with a fire outside, and talked about the events of the week-finally having some time to reflect on them.
The next day I was scattering some of our fire's ashes on the compost (it keeps the dogs and coyotes out of it) and noticed the bird carcass a few feet away. I knew my city dog turned country scavenger would make a feast out of it, so I concocted a plan to scoop it to the far end of the yard with a shovel.
As I neared - I realized it was a dried up husk from some corn we'd roasted a few weeks before. It must have blown off the compost heap.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
The single best invention ever
No, it's not this weird shaped bed.....and it's not even the duvet on top. (How did I live without my goose down duvet?) It's what's under the sheets!!
A bed warmer!
My parents had one of these when I was growing up. I remember being allowed to sneak into their bed on the occasional Saturday morning and feeling how warm their bed was.
Basically, you put it on like a matress pad. It has electricity running through it and you have your own little dial to pick your heat level. Mine is always on high, my husband's side is usually on like 4.
But it is beyond wonderful to wake up on a cool morning like today and have nice toasty feet and legs!
How did the pioneers do it??
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