When I was childless, I must admit that I wasn't a huge fan of children. When I was in a restaurant and I heard a kid whine or cry I always cast a dirty look at the parents who seemed oblivious to it. I was a high school teacher - I LOVED teenagers - but little kids - freaked me out!! I always swore to myself that if, by some twist of nature, I was to procreate - I would always make sure my children were pleasant and well mannered.
Turns out that's just a liiiitle harder than expected. Take last Saturday for instance. My husband and I met my in-laws for dinner after a very long trip to Watsons for spa chemicals. Madeline was getting sick and was about to hit the wall. I prayed she'd just conk out in her stroller and we could enjoy our nice hot meal.
Yeahhhhhh.
Steve and I pretty much held her the entire time and tried to keep her content and quiet by doing a vast array of aerobatics, face contortions, and random objects as toys. I turned crimson every time someone would look our way - whether they looked annoyed or not.
It's amazing what situational ethics will do for you. After a long day of non-stop crying and whining and my food intake consisting of a cookie and a fruit leather and the realization that I'm still in my pajamas and haven't visited the bathroom...letting Madeline play in the dog bowl doesn't seem quite so disgusting. I don't feel like telling her "no-no" 500 times! I just want to let her do what she wants.
Eek! That's a slippery slope! I'm not saying bending the rules is a bad thing - but it's amazing how dedicated you can be while childless to rearing the perfect kids - but when they show their smiling (or non-smiling as the case may be) faces - - after a long hard day, you just want 3 minutes to yourself.
The thing about parenting - is that you're always working. You don't clock out at 5:00. You can't leave your problems at the "office." Even after your little one's in bed, you're rehashing the day and wondering if you made all the right choices.
I know I'm going to make lots of mistakes, but I am committed to this parenting thing. I've seen those undisciplined kids in my classroom at 16 and it's a little late for intervention then.
Meanwhile, I need to close all the toilet lids.
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2 comments:
You tell 'em, sista'.
I know EXACTLY what you mean as I have been grappling with this same dilema. I was used to dealing with 6th and 7th graders who already know right from wrong, and all I had to do was glare at them if they chose to do the wrong... Now I have to start at square one! Parenting is totally the hardest job ever if you want to do it right. I already bought three books about the toddler years to help me get started...
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