I recently read an interesting article in the New York Times. As you can read, there is a new trend called "Push presents" that a husband typically buys for his wife. It's a way, I guess, of showing gratitude for what a can be a very grueling 9 months and 24+ hours of labour. I hadn't really heard of this during my first pregnancy until a few of my friends showed up sporting their gorgeous "push presents." Now, it's even in some of my pregnancy books!
So - come back to me on this - girls - what do you think of push presents? Do we deserve them after dedicating ourselves to almost an entire year of Excedrin and Diet Coke free living? Or is it a shameless excuse to ask for new stuff? Jewelry being the most popular gift of course. And let me ask a few sub-questions. If you are PRO push present, do you want diamonds? Or maybe something with the baby's birthstone? OR, would you rather have something practical like - your husband arranging to have the house cleaned for 3 months or a massage every month for a while?
If you are"Anti" push present - why? Do you feel it's a wife exploiting something that she agreed to? Or is it more about materialism?
I don't know where I fall on this issue. It's hard for me to turn down jewelry at any point, but to be honest - the best thing my husband could give me for what is a hard 9 months (plus the endless months of nursing and the lifelong toll pregnancy takes on your body) would be a really nice, long letter. Reminding me of the ups and downs of the pregnancy, thanking me for trying to do my best to take care of the little guy while he's still cooking - telling me how lucky he is to be my husband. You know, all that stuff.....
But if you ARE interested in a push present.......THESE and THESE are really cute!!
6 comments:
I don't think there is anything wrong with a present at the birth of a child, but to expect it seems just a little greedy/materialistic to me. (then again, I'm not particularly a jewelry person) I'd definitely rather have a supportive and loving husband during and after the duration of the pregnancy, and am blessed in that regard. Hopefully your labor will be nowhere near 24 hours this time around! That would be a good present, no?
I got a ring the first time and I'm fairly sure I will get a hug the second time since I made it look like 'no big deal'- thank you epidural. Oh well- I won't be going anywhere to show a present off anyway- right? I'm sure your next baby will just slide right out- as will mine.
Funny story about the push part of push presents. Chris' Grandmother Barb was the oldest of like 8 children. This is obviously at a time when the husbands weren't part of the childbirth process...they were stuck in the waiting room. By the time her mother had the last one, Barb was a nurse in the local hospital, so she helped deliver her younger sibling. Apparently her mom was screaming and carrying on and Barb was finally like, "Mom, you've had 7 other children, is this really necessary?" Her reply was something like...I have to make it sound difficult so your father will feel sorry for me! Not sure if pity is considered a push present, maybe in the 1930's it was????
hey there...
it's been a while since i've read your blog that i stumbled upon last year. i wanted to add my 2 cents... i like the idea of a "birth-day" present, but my inspiration to have the kids that i do have came from the feeling of having my first child and wanting to enjoy that at least 2 more times. :) i didn't need a push present, just a hug.
~v
Kenton gave me a John Mayer cd and a book. It was a very nice gesture and I was definitely surprised by it (coming from my husband...sorry honey, but true). I agree that a nice letter would mean more than any diamond ring.
Yes, mothers go through a lot during pregnancy, but fathers bear the brunt of a lot of duties as well (the good ones at least!). I think esp. with any babies after the first, the father has to take on more childcare responsibilities as the mother is more unable to do so during the pregnancy. Ultimately, their gift is the gift of life.
I did not get a push present the first time, but if I did I would want my house cleaned or massages. I think the husband should want to do it for sure, not be forced to do it. Some women I see get giant rocks for pushing out the baby...I would probably break it or lose it:)
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